Have you ever said I’ll be happy when I…. land that new job, get married, or lose weight?
At some point in our lives, many of us have embraced the idea that reaching a certain goal will lead to our happiness. Not only is this idea incorrect, but it can be harmful.
In 2005, Laura King, Ed Diener, and Sonja Lyubomirsky, pioneers in the field of Positive Psychology, determined that hundreds of studies indicate that success across all life domains arises from being in a positive state of mind. This means that people find success in their life BECAUSE they are already happy. People don’t become happy because of their success.
How do you become happy?
Studies have shown that small amounts of happiness-inducing activities throughout your day can raise your overall happiness level, which in turn leads to a more successful, productive life. According to Barbara Fredrickson, “Having a positivity ratio of 3 to 1, with 3 positive emotions for every 1 negative emotion, tends to indicate a state of well-being.”
So how do you raise your happiness level? Here are some suggestions:
Make a list of all the things that bring you small jolts of happiness
These can be very simple things like listening to your favorite song, going for a walk, having a cup of coffee in the morning or meditating. Notice the things that bring you that feeling of happiness, however small they might be. Make a list of these happiness inducing activities and keep that list somewhere you can look at when you start to feel down.
Reflect on a time you were at your best
Think about a time when you felt you were at your best. Maybe you won a contest or created something that you were really proud of. How did you feel during this time? What were you doing? What made this event special? Write down everything you remember about your best moment and keep that somewhere you can look back on.
Write down what you are grateful for
Studies have shown that people who express gratitude regularly tend to have higher levels of life satisfaction and hope. By writing down 3 things that you are grateful for on a daily basis, you’ll increase your happiness and overall success level. It’s actually as easy as it sounds!
In Martin Seligman’s book Flourish, he suggests writing down three good things every day for a week. I like to do this at the end of my day, but it also works first thing in the morning in order to get your day moving in the right direction.
No one is happy all of the time, and if they were it would just be weird! It’s natural to feel down when you’re facing negative events, but the more you try incorporating happiness practices into your life, the happier you’ll be overall.
Do you have your own happiness practices? I would love to hear about them and how they work for you! You can reach me at lisa@lisademarcocoaching.com
Resources:
Positivity and Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson
Authentic Happiness and Flourish by Martin A. Seligman